REMJust recently I finished (I think) writing seven pieces for what I’m calling a double trio – piano, bass, drums, violin, viola and cello. This work is going to be performed for the first time in the Salon at the Melbourne Recital Centre on October 15. The project has roots here and there. Part of my pitch for the Professional Development Award I won through APRA three years ago was that I wanted to begin to compose for instruments other than those in my regular trio, so here’s a first crack at that. I have been for some time trying to think about the formal character of the music we play and whether ‘head – solos – head’ is really all we can manage. The piece written for the Wangaratta Festival in 2012, entitled Here from home, was about that too, although it was a single, lengthier composition. The MRC wanted, for the two concerts I was to give there this year, things that differed from regular trio shows or stuff I might be doing elsewhere anyway. (Sorted.) Most importantly though this is a chance to play with some people I’ve known for quite a while with whom I’ve never previously had the opportunity to collaborate. I can’t wait to share the stage with them. I can’t wait.

I’ve said before how important the matter of friendship is in the making of music. When I hear friends play, people I’ve either played with myself or simply followed over the years, there is something extra to the experience, something particularly moving and humbling, and I’ll call it love. So I’m now going to play with these friends of mine, as well as with Ben and Dave, who are obviously dear friends too, and I’m really looking forward to it all. The pieces are collectively titled with whom you can be who you are, and six of them bear the initials of individual friends of mine as their titles. [EDIT: Actually they all do.]

See friendship is something I think about quite a bit. If I were to do a blog post that came from somewhere else, that had nothing to do with music, I’d write about the dynamics when you meet people in the school yard or at the park, and how communication begins, and when you think you might strike up a friendship, and how sometimes this seems possible and sometimes it clearly, absolutely, doesn’t, because there are all these murky things that go on when people relate to one another and try to read what’s happening and occasionally misread it or simply don’t permit themselves to participate, for reasons of their own. How when you meet someone and things seem to be going well and you think well why don’t we have a cup of tea and you put the idea up but then maybe because you’re a boy and she’s a girl or possibly because something happened long ago that you don’t know about or perhaps just because people are always saying this you get knocked back and then it’s clear there were doubts about your intentions, even though you honestly and sincerely had none apart from drinking tea and talking. Being, that is, friendly.

But look, just now I’m not going to write that post. I say it only since it is something to which I’ve given a great deal of thought. And this is the context of the music: playing with friends, thinking about friends and friendship. Seven world premieres at the Salon on October 15.

Because of all this composition however, and because such projects once underway are apt to thrill and depress me in equal measure, I was obviously going to be distracted by something. The month just gone was also Dry July, in which I didn’t touch alcohol other than on the 11th (my brother’s birthday) and the 26th (celebrating Sall’s and my wedding anniversary, which falls the following day).* And these were authorized omissions, according to the Dry July rules. (It’s funny, because a day off is granted with possession of a Golden Ticket, and these are had for a donation of $25 or more. Because the whole Dry July thing is based on a charity to assist adults living with cancer, the more days you take off, i.e. the more you drink, the better the charity does. As the sober purpose is arguably defeated.)

I thought, well, I have to get this music written and I’ve set myself the deadline of the end of July. How much more easily to make a month fly by than to have a compositional deadline waiting at the other end of it? Sobriety will barely be registered amidst the pressure of getting the music on paper. Right? But then of course there was the distraction, and it came from a somewhat unexpected place.

Perhaps you remember 1989, provided you were born then. On February 12, 1989, at 8pm, I was waiting at Festival Hall for the Go-Betweens to come on stage, prior to the headline appearance of R.E.M.‡

The Go-Betweens were probably my favourite band of the 1980s, and certainly they were my favourite Australian one. They did incredible things like changing the words of their songs, in performance! and stuff like that. I was there with a couple of friends, one of whom has since died. Whenever I hear R.E.M.’s ‘So. Central Rain’ I see his face, dancing at Festival Hall. It’s one of only a handful of strong memories of that night: Michael Stipe with a chair as a prop, ‘Superman’ being sung by Mike Mills (although I remember it as an encore, which apparently it wasn’t), the Velvet Underground’s ‘After Hours’ as the final selection. The Go-Bs changing the words. R.E.M. toured Australia a couple of times after that, I think, but I never heard them live again.

I was put in mind of R.E.M. when Ian Thorpe came out, and I recalled Michael Stipe doing something similar after many years of vagueness, and saying (as I recollect it) that probably he should have done it sooner since they had so many young fans, some of whom might have been helped by the example. This is only my memory, and it may not be accurate. But I was reminded of R.E.M. So out came the LPs, Life’s rich pageant, Document, Murmur, Green (I stuck my concert ticket stub on the inner sleeve of that one, as it was the album they were touring), and the CDs, Monster, Automatic for the people, and so on. And I played them again.

I wish I had the language to describe what it is to hear this stuff again after a long time without it. To portray the levels of connection and relation that seem to be endemic to these sounds, for me. There is so much about the time in which I met this music that I wish to forget, so many things of which I don’t wish to be reminded, but it’s almost as though the music had preserved only the bits that were worth knowing. And they’re not even actual solid things, like ‘she said this’ or ‘we went here’ or ‘that’s how the issue was resolved’. Can music like this actually preserve the youthful hope and excitement that was felt, against the elapsing of twenty-five years? If so, how? I don’t want to be seventeen again. I recall myself at that age with nothing short of horror. I am not mourning the loss of any enthusiasm I had for the future, in 1989. And I have absolutely no sadness at all when I listen to these records. Nor do I wish to be a pop star or to replicate anything that I’m hearing. I’m not even sure what’s happening. But the music is implicated. Memory, friendship, the whole thing. What the music holds. I hope this makes sense.

*Long-term readers of this blog – both of them – will recall my giving up drinking some time ago. For a while, I did. But I took it up again. It’s forever a work in progress.

This site claims that the Hoodoo Gurus supported as well but I have no memory of this. Dave Faulkner, if you’re reading, and you were there, I apologise. I was a Gurus fan, and I have several Gurus albums, but I can’t remember your being at Festival Hall that night. Not at all. And as a side note: how curious is it that there are websites that can give you set list details for concerts that predate the internet by years? I mean I found this, and this, and the one above.

11/viii/2014

TurntableThe turntable went to the shop, a place peopled by lunatics, and when finally I retrieved it I was told there had been nothing wrong with it. By some amazing chance though it came back sounding absolutely splendid, whereas it had gone in sounding awful, so whatever wasn’t wrong with it benefited by not being fixed. Or something. (The lunacy, I have to say, is incidental to the turntable and its problems, real or imagined.) The import of my having the turntable back in the house in any case is that I can now play my copies of John Sangster’s albums The Trip, Ahead of Hair, and The joker is wild.

I’m booked to write a paper on these albums for an upcoming issue of a top journal, and so it’s back to research! for at least a part of this year. I’ve also, probably unwisely, booked myself a berth in the conference of the Musicological Society of Australia at the end of the year, so I’ve that to deal with too. It seems I go to this conference when it’s in Melbourne; the last time I went was in 2008. Since I have to pay my own way it’s absolutely impossible to go interstate for the meeting, and for the larger part of the time my links with musicology are mostly either historical or merely sentimental anyway. But perhaps I have something to say. Perhaps someone will come along.

I mean: my academic career, you know. What a farce. Not long ago one of Australia’s Top Universities, number something-or-other in the international rankings and, well, part of our local Virginia-creeper League of increasingly impoverished tertiary institutions, advertised a lectureship for which I fancied myself eminently suited. How many research PhDs are there in Australian improvised music, held by people who compose and perform, and teach? And I’ve publications, and a bit of administrative experience too, having co-run the Honours year and fully run the Postgraduate Diploma one, when such things were as they were, at the VCA. Anyway, I applied, and I waited. I lined up my best and most flattering referees, and worded them up that they might be required to find something acceptable to say about me in the course of events. They are probably still waiting for the phone to ring. Because do you think I was invited for an interview? I was not.

Now this is not the first time this has happened. It is as though the PhD became a disqualification or something, because other institutions have done exactly the same thing, advertising positions that turn out to be not quite as open as one might have thought, and awarding them to people who – well, to other people.

Then again, prior to the most recent advertisement, I had been invited by the institution in question to examine a PhD thesis that was so miserable, so poorly conceived and executed, as to make me despair at what was apparently going on at the graduate level. My report reflected my feelings, as I believe any honest report I write must, and I endeavoured to make clear that I should have the work resubmitted somewhere down the line, following further research and wholesale revision.

I found out however that the thesis had been accepted, when I discovered it was in the university library. This perplexed me no end, but carried a diminished measure of surprise since despite having asked to be kept informed of developments I had been told absolutely nothing further subsequent to my submitting my report.

Things aren’t getting any better for education in Australia, most likely since to educate your polity invites the risk of having it exercise its increased wisdom in the interests of improving matters, and in the process coming to understand what you’ve been up to – and getting rid of you. And besides, if the government offers money to schools for the completion of degrees, who wouldn’t want to hurry candidates through to completion? Elsewhere I’ve hinted at some of the unfortunate consequences of corner- (read cost-) cutting strategies in jazz education, and, well, I guess I shall have to lie down in the grave I’ve dug and accept that I don’t fit with the decision-makers and the program-developers, and as such it’s very unlikely they’ll come knocking on my door. But to my last hour I shall declare that I don’t see how pretending we’re all Americans and going along with whatever is broadcast most resonantly from the States about The Jazz Tradition (and by implication our obligation thereunto) is going to assist us in articulating our own place in the scheme of things, the nature and consequence of our experience, the particular variations to acquaintance and accommodation that have occurred throughout the briefer history of Australian jazz, or any concepts we might have about the future.

In the shorter term, I’m composing the music for another Salon concert, this one in October with a double trio: piano, bass, drums, violin, viola and cello. Things are progressing, fitfully; when they seem to be going smoothly I’m happy enough but I couldn’t say I’m overburdened with confidence about anything I ever produce so there is that residual feeling of being at the mercy of something I can neither control nor even name.

Usually I link to these things on Facebook and/or the abominable Twitter, but I’m not doing that this time. It’d be interesting to know if anyone found it despite my not making a noise. Leave a comment if you like, and break up the spam. Since I’m only really whining and this is in no way honorable it’s probably not worth making any sound at all. But this is how it stands. Çe soir.

24/vi/2014